You probably know it deep in your chocolate covered heart…you’re a chocoholic. Even the thought of chocolate melts the chocolate coating only to reveal the deep fudge center in your chest.
To recognize Valentine’s Day, here’s one of the first articles I wrote when I arrived in New York City in 2019. The information is still useful for those looking to come to terms with who they are.
Though just in case you need some validation of your new identity, here are 15 signs to confirm you are in fact a chocoholic.
15. You actually looked up to see if you’re addicted to chocolate.
What are the signs? Is it an actual problem? Do you actually care if it is?
14. The screaming chocolate guy from SpongeBob SquarePants is your spirit animal.
His screams are basically your inner monologue. All. The. Time.
13. All your meals are followed by a chocolate dessert.
You’re not finished eating until your meal is polished off with a decadent little somethin’ somethin’.
12. You’ve had the Salon du Chocolat NY Festival on your calendar for months.
It’s the biggest event of the year. You wouldn’t miss it for the world. It’s your heaven on Earth.
11. Your favorite holiday is the one with the most chocolate.
Examples include Valentine’s Day, February 15th, Halloween, and November 1st.
10. There is always a stash of chocolate in the house.
And a backup.
9. Belgium is your dream vacation.
Forget Bora Bora and Rome, Belgium is where the chocolate is at.
In case you don’t have the money for a plane ticket, check out my latest review of the local chocolate mousse at Cafe D’Anvers.
8. When someone says “vanilla” in your presence it’s utter disrespect.
You don’t live a vanilla life, therefore you don’t need vanilla people in your life. Simple as that.
7. You think “death by chocolate” is an honorable way to die.
At least you’ll go out with the thing you love most in this world.
6. You anticipate ‘fangirling’ over the chocolatiers, artisans, pastry chefs, and experts at the Salon du Chocolate festival.
You’ll be in the presence of the best of the best, all who know more about chocolate than you do. They are rockstars and you are merely a fan soaking in their greatness.
5. You make food orders purely based on if the dish has chocolate in it.
Chocolate chip pancakes. A side of chocolate milk. Dark chocolate bits in your salad. If it doesn’t have chocolate in it, you don’t want it.
4. Chocolate syrup runs through your veins.
Your whole life is dependent on it.
3. You don’t fraternize with people who don’t like chocolate.
They’re almost as bad as vanilla people.
2. Chocolate always cheers you up.
It always makes you feel better and everyone knows it.
1. Chocolate is more than just a treat, it’s a way of life.
What other way is there to go about through life than with chocolate.
It’s time to join Chocoholics Anonymous.
If you’ve identified with one or all of these habits or signs, you’ve a chocoholic — and I can help you.
Chocoholics is a newsletter where everyone is accepted as they are, no judgement. With the Chocoholics Anonymous newsletter I can help you get your weekly fix, cross an item off your chocolate “bucket list,” or connect you with the best dessert in New York City.
If you are a chocoholic, you are welcome.
